哀悼父母的死亡

一個讓人震撼驚愕的經驗

在美國父母過世是最普遍的喪慟形式。每年幾乎有12千萬美國人要安葬父親或母親,但是社會傾向於相信,因為預期父母會死,喪親的成年子女必須「迅速走出對父母的哀悼並且繼續向前行」。

一位45歲的女子在9個月內痛失雙親,她感嘆:「父母的過世是個讓人震撼驚愕的經驗。」 突然我和我的死亡之間沒有了緩衝。我感覺像個沒人要的小孩,一個被遺棄的孤兒。我被迫要馬上長大,因為每個人開始視我為家裡的新家長。」

如果與父母的關係親密,許多失去親人的成年子女覺得失去了一個朋友和顧問。 As they mourn a parent, they lament the absence of anyone who can relate to their childhood memories or share in their children's awards, achievements or everyday lives.

接下來的步驟

舊時的手足之爭和忌妒心會在父母過世時重現,尤其是當爭奪遺產時。當父母過世時,許多成年子女開始探索生命的意義並且檢視他們生命要前往的方向。有些人做出生命中重大的改變。

如果您失去父母,以下這些建議會有幫助:

  • Acknowledge the importance of the loss and allow yourself to grieve completely. Feelings of anger, ambivalence, guilt and shame are normal.
  • Don’t pressure yourself to “get back to normal.”
  • Address any unfinished business with your deceased parent by writing a letter, talking with someone you trust, or seeking help from a professional who specializes in grief.
  • Create new family patterns, rituals and ceremonies. Prepare in advance for special holidays and anniversaries.
  • Join a bereavement support group to share your feelings with others.
  • Each year, acknowledge the anniversary of the death of your parent. Create a memorial tribute by donating to a charity in your parent's name, planting a tree, visiting the cemetery, making a memory book or whatever works for you.
  • Take your friends and family up on their offers to help. Be specific about what you need.
  • Learn to parent yourself. Surround yourself with people who love you.

Take comfort in knowing that the pain you feel as you’re mourning a parent should lessen with time.

了解安寧療護服務是否可幫助您的至親。

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